day off (as i am not in the mood for a chapter today)

I am cornholio...the TP you have for your own bunghole is dirty, do not reuse, i repeat DO NOT REUSE, your cat will hate you. It will hunt u down, and scratch your ballsack. What's the deal with airoplane sluts? I went for a trip once to australia, never came back...got stuck their, kidnapped by a frikin kangaroo...had to marry a koala and eat grub on the barbie with my thong wearing new zeelander mates that instead of tatoo's are just splashing paint on their faces due to lazy stoned out behaviour. There are no politicians here, i was lied to, the disicious are all given to giraffs from africa and delivered here by messages in bottles, except those bottles are all washed up in frikin south america. The cocaine we get here is a little wierd, it's frickin black...some weird substance called decaf i found in some prison centre called coles. I have been wondering around for 30 years looking for a suitable female to mate with but only found gay redhead guys attacking me coz they confuse me with their kiwi ex boyfriends from nz. I went down to the dole office 20 years straight, still haven't got any money, they just give it to the house owners and these funny eyed people from over the seas, that all speak a funny language and eyeing me off like food. I have been bribing them with all sorts of animals, but they dont really want them, so i put the animals in a building in canbera, they sit in a room and talk all day. I need vietnam to realize, while they still have mines in the earth, we just have the massive holes, especially on the roads here that are supposed to be maintained by the vegas mafia, but those pricks are too busy making sushi out of playing cards. So, im sitting here confused as to why an asian woman is trying to get me a job, when noone from china has rung me for an interview, and why my phone is only listened to by a funny yellowhair people on some island of a man or something. Where is the isle of Woman, so i can go there and get my end in? This country sux so bad, if i ever leave i'll have to live in the gobi desert in a tent just because of withdrawel symptoms. I'v been here so long, im back in time seeing giant bird gods coming to my rescue because the human pilots keep ejecting out of their planes because they forgot to teach them to land. Where did those funny aboriginals go, i was going to make friends with them, but last time i saw them, they run fricking north korea now. done.